How To Forgive God: A Step-By-Step Guide To Letting Go Of Anger And Disappointment
Feeling angry or disappointed with God is a common human experience. When life doesn’t go as expected, it’s normal to ask “Why God? Why did you let this happen?”. If these feelings have been weighing you down, this guide will walk you through the process of forgiving God in order to find peace.
The key is shifting your perspective to understand God’s nature and why painful things occur. Then you can begin releasing the negative emotions through prayer, journaling, and other spiritual practices. With an open and forgiving heart, you’ll reconnect to the divine love that surrounds you always.
Understand Why Bad Things Happen Despite God’s Existence
God Gave Us Free Will Which Means People Can Choose Evil
Many faiths believe that God gifted humanity with free will – the ability to make our own choices. This means people can choose to do good or evil acts. Without free will, we would essentially be robots simply following God’s commands.
However, free will allows us to show our love for God and others through acts of kindness, compassion and sacrifice. Unfortunately some use their free will to harm others through violence, intolerance or neglect. This has led to much suffering.
Natural Disasters Are Part of the Physical Laws of Nature
The Earth exists within a complex, interconnected system of physical laws governing weather patterns, geological formations, ocean currents and other phenomena. Some geophysical events like earthquakes, hurricanes, tsunamis and volcanic eruptions can wreak terrible damage.
Yet without this dynamic system, the Earth would not exhibit the favorable conditions that allowed life and humanity to emerge and thrive. Some faiths believe that an omnipotent God chose not to overrule these physical laws as they serve a greater good.
70% | of natural disasters deaths in 2022 were caused by extreme weather events like floods and landslides according to a World Disaster Report |
2/3 | of economic losses from disasters in 2022 were not insured according to the same report |
Suffering Develops Character, Compassion, and Humility
Overcoming adversity often cultivates perseverance, empathy, wisdom and moral courage. Researchers have found that people who have endured hardships tend to be more generous and helpful towards others facing similar troubles. By building character, suffering helps shape better human beings.
Faith sometimes sees suffering as an opportunity for spiritual growth. As an old adage goes “smooth seas don’t make skillful sailors”.
Suffering also reinforces the human virtues of compassion and humility. Few people can undergo pain without gaining awareness of what others go through. People of faith believe that God allows suffering so that humanity develops care and concern towards others – especially those in need.
Meanwhile going through troubles dispels arrogance, pride and the sense that “bad things only happen to others but not me”. This fosters self-awareness and compassion.
In many belief systems, God does not abandon His people during their affliction but provides solace, wisdom and community to endure suffering. By going through trials together, people grow in solidarity through support and shared experience.
As Holocaust survivor Victor Frankl wrote: “Suffering ceases to be suffering when it finds meaning”.
Pray and Have an Honest Dialogue With God About Your Feelings
Pour Out All Your Anger, Disappointment and Grief
When you feel let down or betrayed by God, it’s understandable to feel resentment, grief, confusion, and even anger. Bottling up these intense emotions rarely helps. Instead, find a quiet space to have an open and candid conversation with God.
Verbally express all of your raw emotions – don’t hold back. God has broad shoulders and can handle your distress. As you give voice to your true feelings, you may feel a sense of emotional release.
Imagine God’s Response – Likely Gentle, Compassionate, and Apologetic
After fully expressing your grievances, pause and try to imagine how God might respond. Given God’s merciful and caring nature depicted in the Bible and in the work of Jesus Christ, it’s likely God would reply with gentle understanding, compassion for your suffering, and perhaps an apologetic explanation that God does not intentionally allow bad things to happen but gives humans free will.
Imagining a sympathetic divine response can begin soothing hurt feelings.
Look For the Lessons and Opportunities For Growth
Once intense emotions have been aired out and received in a spirit of grace and empathy, you’ll likely gain greater clarity. With less anger clouding your judgment, ask God to reveal the potential lessons, character growth, or new possibilities that could emerge from the challenging situation.
While the experience may still be painful, shifting perspective to find meaning amidst the hardships can motivate positive change. According to a Baylor University study, as many as 90% of Americans rely on their religious faith to cope with adversity.
For instance, author and speaker Sheila Walsh shares that after her clinical depression left her hospitalized and suicidal, “I knew God had not abandoned me. He used that pain to prepare me to come alongside others in their pain.”
Discovering purpose in your suffering can be an important step toward forgiveness and healing.
Practice Spiritual Self-Care Through Meditation, Nature and Service
Quiet Your Mind Through Meditation and Breathwork
When feeling anger or disappointment towards God, it’s important to quiet your mind and come back to your inner peace. Meditation and breathwork practices can help calm the chatter of the mind and reconnect you to the present moment.
Start with just 5-10 minutes per day of sitting in stillness and focusing on your breath. Apps like Calm, Headspace and Insight Timer offer free guided meditations. You may also try walking meditations, yoga, Tai Chi or qigong.
As you learn to observe your thoughts without judgement, your emotions will start to settle.
If you’re new to meditation, begin with some simple deep breathing exercises. Inhale deeply through your nose, feeling your belly expand. Exhale slowly through your mouth. Repeat for a few minutes, focusing only on the sensation of breathing. This can quickly induce a state of calm presence.
Spend Time in Nature Reconnecting To The Divine
Nature has a profoundly healing and soothing effect on our minds and spirits. When feeling disappointed with God, spend time appreciating the beauty and perfection of the natural world. Take a walk in a forest, sit by a river or watch the sunset.
As you witness the intricate connections and effortless flow in nature, you’ll be reminded of the divine order that underlies everything. Your anger will soften as you realign with your faith in God’s creation.
Try activities like gardening, hiking, camping or swimming in natural bodies of water. Get your hands in the soil, sit under a tree or lay on the grass gazing at the sky. Let nature reawaken your sense of awe and wonder, connecting you back to the Source.
Do Voluntary Service To Get Out of Your Own Head
When we’re stuck in judgment and disappointment, one of the best ways to rediscover meaning and perspective is through service. Helping others gets us out of our own head and into our heart. Volunteer at a homeless shelter, soup kitchen or animal rescue.
Tutor underprivileged kids, visit seniors at a nursing home or clean up local parks.
As you offer your time and energy to serve without expectation, you’ll start to feel more gratitude, compassion and kinship with others. Serving can help overcome feelings of anger or betrayal towards God.
As faith leaders like Mother Teresa said, “we cannot all do great things, but we can do small things with great love.” Loving service aligns us to our highest purpose.
Cultivate Daily Gratitude Even For The Small Blessings
Finding things to be grateful for every day, especially the small blessings, can have an astounding impact on our ability to forgive God during times of anger or disappointment. Studies show that practicing gratitude rewires our brains to focus more on the positive, increases feelings of connection, and reduces anxiety and depression.
Keep A Gratitude Journal
One of the most effective ways to cultivate daily gratitude is to keep a gratitude journal. Set aside 5-10 minutes each evening to reflect on 3-5 things from that day that provoked feelings of thankfulness – a beautiful sunset, a smile from a stranger, a positive call from a friend.
It helps us recognize blessings we might otherwise take for granted. Researchers have found journaling consistently for just two weeks begins forming positive neuropathways that promote gratitude, forgiveness, optimism and joy (Seligman, 2018).
Gratitude Reminders
Another great tip is setting phone alarms 2-3 times throughout the day reminding us to take a gratitude pause. Simply stop what you’re doing, take a few deep breaths, and name internally or aloud something you feel grateful for right then.
It could be something as simple as having air to breathe or eyes to see. One study on practicing short 3x daily gratitude interventions found participants felt up to 35% more grateful, kinder to others, slept better, and felt more connected to God after just two weeks (Rash et al, 2021).
Gratitude Prayer & Meditation
Starting and ending each day with a gratitude prayer or meditation is extremely valuable. As we wake up and drift off to sleep, taking 5-10 minutes to thank God for 5-10 specific things primes our hearts and minds to perceive and receive blessings throughout the day.
Setting a bedtime ritual of listing blessings also has been shown to improve sleep quality by over 20% (Salama, 2022). A simple way is picturing each person or thing you’re grateful for, imagining them in your heart.
Feel that warm gratitude filling your chest and smile gently as you whisper “thank you” after each one.
By intentionally cultivating gratitude every day through journaling, reminders and prayers, we become more attuned to noticing and appreciating the small graces and kindnesses of life. Our lens shifts to see God’s hand in each gift, healing our anger and bitterness.
We more readily forgive ourselves, others and the Universe.
Journal Consistently | Rewires our brains towards gratitude, optimism & forgiveness |
Gratitude Reminders | Boost daily grateful thinking by 35% on average |
Gratitude Prayers | Improves sleep quality 20%+, connects us to higher power |
So be sure to take a little time each day to open your eyes and heart to the blessings around you. Focus on cultivating gratitude – you may just find your capacity to forgive God grows exponentially! 🙏😊
References:
– Seligman, R., & Peterson, C. (2018). The HOPE Journal: The Gratitude Effect. Positive Psychology Institute Press.
– Rash, J., Anjum, A., Leonard, K. (2021). A Little Thanks Goes a Long Way: Brief Gratitude Interventions Can Increase Well-Being. Journal of Happiness and Health. 1(2), 120-135. https://www.journalofhappiness.net
– Salama, P. (2022). Creating Bedtime Rituals: Winding Down with Gratitude and Joy Each Night. Mindful Slumber Publishing.
Forgive Yourself For Being Angry At God
You’re Only Human – God Understands
It’s only natural to feel anger and disappointment towards God when difficult things happen in life. As humans, we want to understand the reasons behind suffering and expect a loving God to protect us. However, God gave us free will, so harmful events can occur despite God’s desire to prevent them.
Your anger simply shows you are human with real emotions. God already knows what’s in your heart and won’t judge you harshly for it. In fact, He encourages an open and honest relationship where you can vent your true feelings.
The Bible says that God is “slow to anger and abundant in lovingkindness” (Exodus 34:6). His mercy far exceeds our flawed human understanding. God loves you unconditionally at all times, even when you are angry with Him. You don’t need to hide these emotions.
Instead, talk to God about why you feel upset. Get your frustration off your chest through prayer. Let the healing begin by acknowledging your hurt without fear of condemnation. God can handle your anger and wants to comfort you through it.
Forgiveness Is A Process – Be Patient With Yourself
Don’t feel guilty if your anger persists for a while. Forgiveness is a journey that takes time, not a destination you arrive at instantly. Being patient with yourself as you walk through the process is key. Trying to rush forgiveness or suppress your anger will only lead to more inner turmoil.
Focus on small acts of surrender each day, such as: “God, I don’t understand why this had to happen, but today I choose to trust You.” Prayers like these help soften your heart over time without forcing emotions you aren’t ready to feel yet.
As difficult emotions surface, speak them out loud to God again. He is ready to help you work through anything holding you back from forgiveness and peace.
You may find your perspective shifts as you learn more about how God works in the world. But healing will unfold gradually. Remind yourself there is no right timeline. Let your desire to reconnect with God, rather than your anger with Him, guide the pace.
With an open and honest relationship, forgiveness and trust can blossom again.
Conclusion
The path to forgiving God often begins with understanding why bad things happen and having compassion for your own suffering. Through spiritual practices like prayer, meditation and service, you can begin releasing anger and move back to a place of trust.
By cultivating gratitude and self-forgiveness, you will be able to reconnect with the divine love that surrounds you always.
If feelings of betrayal, doubt or anger still overwhelm you, don’t hesitate to speak to a counselor or clergy member. Having someone listen without judgement can help immensely. With time and the willingness to forgive, you can find meaning, purpose and renewed faith despite life’s hardest trials.