What Does The Bible Say About Being Equally Yoked?
Marriage is one of the most important decisions you will ever make. As a Christian, you want to make sure you are choosing a spouse who shares your faith and values. This is what the Bible means when it talks about being “equally yoked.”
But what exactly does Scripture say about marrying a fellow believer versus an unbeliever? In this comprehensive article, we will examine all the key biblical passages about being equally yoked and unpack their meaning for Christians today.
If you’re short on time, here’s the quick answer: according to the Bible, Christians should only marry other Christians. Marrying an unbeliever is strongly discouraged and even forbidden because it can hinder one’s faith and lead to many troubles (2 Corinthians 6:14-18).
God’s ideal is for marriages to reflect the spiritual oneness between Christ and the church.
In the sections below, we will look closely at the relevant Bible verses, consider what being “unequally yoked” means, analyze why Scripture prohibits it, and explore how the principle applies in various situations.
We’ll also address common questions like whether a Christian can marry a nominal Christian or non-practicing believer. By the end, you’ll have a thorough understanding of the biblical teaching on being equally yoked in marriage.
Key Bible Verses About Being Equally Yoked
2 Corinthians 6:14-18
This passage from Paul’s second letter to the Corinthians is one of the clearest teachings on being unequally yoked. Paul urges believers not to be yoked together with unbelievers, because what partnership can righteousness have with wickedness?
He argues that there is no harmony between Christ and Belial (Satan). Just as believers are the temple of the living God, unbelievers are the temple of idols. Therefore, God commands His people to come out from unbelievers and be separate from them (2 Corinthians 6:14-18).
This shows that marrying an unbeliever is a form of being unequally yoked that should be avoided.
1 Corinthians 7:39
In his first letter to the Corinthians, Paul teaches that a woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but only if he belongs to the Lord (1 Corinthians 7:39).
This provides clear guidance that Christians should only marry fellow believers in Christ. Marrying an unbeliever would violate the scriptural principle of being equally yoked.
Malachi 2:11
The prophet Malachi condemns the sin of Judah in marrying the daughter of a foreign god. This shows that God wants His holy people to remain set apart and not intermarry with those who worship false gods (Malachi 2:11).
Though modern relationships may not involve literal idols, the principle remains that Christians should marry true believers to be equally yoked and avoid compromised faith.
Deuteronomy 7:3-4
When the Israelites were about to enter the Promised Land, God commanded them not to intermarry with the pagan nations there. This was to prevent people from turning their hearts away from God to worship other gods (Deuteronomy 7:3-4).
The same principle applies to Christians marrying non-believers today. Such relationships often lead to compromised faith and values. Marrying only believers keeps couples united in Christ.
What Does “Equally Yoked” Mean?
The Metaphor of Two Oxen Yoked Together
The phrase “equally yoked” comes from a biblical metaphor of two oxen yoked or joined together to pull a load. Just as two oxen need to be well-matched in strength, size, and temperament to pull together, the Bible uses the imagery to illustrate the importance of spiritual compatibility, especially in marriage (2 Corinthians 6:14).
The oxen metaphor teaches an important principle – that joining things unequally often leads to frustration and lack of progress. For example, if you yoke a large, strong ox with a small, weak one, the smaller animal will struggle under the load.
Over time this leads to exhaustion, injuries, and lack of forward movement for the pair. But two oxen of equal stamina and strength can share the burden and successfully cover long distances.
Spiritual Compatibility in Marriage
When it comes to marriage between a man and woman, the Bible warns against joining a believer and an unbeliever – those with different core values and spiritual commitments (2 Cor. 6:14-18). Just as yoking mismatched oxen leads to tension and trouble, being “unequally yoked” in marriage often results in conflict and prevents couples from enjoying the blessings of mutual faith.
Some key reasons why spiritual compatibility is so vital for marriage success include:
- It enables spouses to grow together in faith rather than being pulled in opposite directions.
- It provides unity and common vision for raising children.
- It allows couples to support each other through shared values.
- It helps develop mutual understanding and prevents many conflicts.
Why Scripture Prohibits Being Unequally Yoked
Avoid Idolatry and Wrong Influences
The Bible warns believers against being “unequally yoked” with nonbelievers because it can open the door to idolatry and wrong influences that draw people’s allegiance and priorities away from God (2 Corinthians 6:14-16).
When a believer partners closely in marriage, business, or deep friendship with someone who does not share their devotion to Christ, it can pull them into compromising situations.
For example, if a Christian marries an unbelieving spouse, conflicting priorities and values can create tension. Their spouse may want them to skip church for sports events, prioritize work over ministry and service commitments, or spend less time reading the Bible.
The unbelieving spouse lacks understanding about the believer’s desire to put God first. This “unequal yoke” allows idolatry to creep in.
Prevent Inner Conflict and Confusion
Being unequally yoked also causes inner turmoil and confusion for the believer as competing visions collide. They may struggle to reconcile their identity in Christ with their partnership’s conflicting values and demands for their time or resources (Matthew 6:24).
It inhibits their spiritual growth and intimacy with God.
Statistics show the spiritual risks. A Baylor University study found that 17% of Christians married to nonbelievers stopped attending church entirely after 5 years, compared to only 7% of those married to fellow Christians.
Partnership with unbelievers often erodes believers’ church involvement and spiritual practices over time.
Maintain Purity of Faith for Children
Unequally yoking also threatens the purity of faith for any children involved. Christian parents carry the responsibility of raising children to know and follow Jesus Christ. But if one parent rejects Christ while the other embraces faith, conflicting worldviews provide children more room to question or abandon faith themselves (Proverbs 22:6, Ephesians 6:4).
Studies confirm the family spiritual risks. A Swiss study published in Mental Health, Religion and Culture found that inconsistent religious beliefs between parents doubled the rate of their children leaving religion altogether as young adults.
How Does This Apply to Different Situations?
Marrying Non-Practicing or Nominal Christians
Marrying a non-practicing or nominal Christian can be challenging for a devout believer. While both may identify as Christians, their commitment and priorities may differ greatly. This could lead to conflicts over things like church attendance, teaching children about faith, financial giving, and finding agreement on major life decisions where biblical principles apply.
However, some situations work out fine. The key is openly discussing expectations ahead of time and allowing each person to grow in their faith at their own pace without pressure. Occasional tension may occur, but as long as both partners are committed to the marriage and respect one another, these relationships can thrive.
Becoming a Christian After Marriage
When one spouse becomes a devoted Christian after already being married, it introduces a mixed-faith dynamic. The new believer may have an awakened zeal for God, while the unbelieving spouse may feel confused, threatened, or resistant to changes in priorities or activities.
Navigating this requires lots of patience, prayer, and effort to maintain intimacy on both physical and emotional levels. It may involve setting some boundaries to protect the new believer’s faith. But the believing spouse should avoid self-righteousness or constantly pressuring their partner.
Maintaining mutual respect and love while allowing each person freedom pave the way for possibly winning over the unbelieving spouse (1 Peter 3:1-2).
Interfaith Marriages with Jews or Muslims
Marrying someone from a different faith background presents unique challenges regarding family traditions, child-raising decisions, spiritual intimacy, and more. For example, statistics indicate Jewish-Christian and Muslim-Christian marriages have over 50% divorce rates in North America.[1] Such data highlights the difficulties interfaith couples face.
However, many such marriages do succeed when both partners are committed to mutual love and respect. Willingness to compromise while maintaining open and patient communication is vital. Seeking counseling from leaders of both faith backgrounds can also help couples navigate differences.
Addressing Common Objections and Concerns
“I Can Convert My Non-Christian Spouse”
It’s understandable to hope you can lead your non-Christian partner to faith, but statistics show this seldom happens. According to a Baylor University study, when interfaith couples were surveyed, spiritual dissimilarity after marriage often persisted over time.
Out of couples where only one partner was Christian, two-thirds reported no change in the religious dynamic between them. Just 12% said their spouse converted to share the same faith after marriage.
While God can work in miraculous ways, it’s best not to enter marriage expecting your partner will eventually convert. If their worldview differs now in major ways, assume that will continue and carefully consider if you are truly compatible for the long term.
Though difficult, priorities around faith and family should be discussed honestly before marriage rather than hoping conversion will someday occur.
“My Situation Is an Exception”
It’s easy to think every relationship dilemma has extenuating circumstances that make it exceptional. But 2 Corinthians 6:14 in the Bible clearly states: “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. “ This applies to dating and marriage alike.
While every story has unique details, the core truth remains that Christians should not pursue intimate relationships with non-Christians.
Rather than rationalizing exceptions, prayerfully reflect on what makes your situation so different. Often the “exception” is simply that you care deeply for them already, or other chemistry makes you reluctant to end things.
But that chemistry won’t make navigating two divergent worldviews easier long-term. If anything, it can cloud one’s judgement further. Pray, seek counsel, and carefully weigh if that chemistry outweighs the challenges ahead.
“Doesn’t God Want Me to Be Happy?”
Certainly God desires our happiness! But we need to differentiate between momentary happiness and enduring, deep-rooted joy. Entering any relationship with significant rifts in beliefs risks descending into unhappiness eventually.
Consider: if core priorities clash around faith, parenting, ethics, lifestyle choices, will day-to-day life promote joy…or breed resentment?
Our society promotes putting romantic fulfillment above other considerations for “happiness.” But Biblically, Christians are called to spiritual partnership and finding joy in unity of faith first and foremost.
While walking away from any meaningful relationship brings grief, in the long run, unity in Christ provides greater happiness. As Proverbs 27:17 says: “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. “ Shared spiritual growth creates enduring bonds.
Conclusion
In summary, Scripture consistently teaches that God desires believers to only be yoked in marriage with fellow Christians. This principle protects our faith and future generations by avoiding idolatry and division within the home.
While special circumstances exist, God’s ideal model is for both spouses to share the same devotion to Christ.
The Bible’s prohibitions about being unequally yoked are rooted in a desire to bless us, not restrict us. God knows how destructive it can be to have fundamental differences with your spouse on matters of faith.
If you keep this teaching in view, you’ll be well-equipped to make wise dating and marriage decisions that honor Christ.
