What Does The Bible Say About Cutting Ties With Friends?
Ending a friendship can be extremely difficult. You may be wondering if cutting ties with a friend is ever acceptable according to biblical principles. This comprehensive guide examines multiple Bible verses to provide insight into God’s perspective on this sensitive issue.
If you’re short on time, here’s a quick answer: The Bible does not specifically prohibit cutting ties with friends in all situations. However, it strongly emphasizes forgiveness, reconciliation, and treating others with love.
Old Testament Bible Verses About Friendship
Proverbs 17:17 – A friend loves at all times
This popular proverb emphasizes the enduring and unconditional nature of true friendship. As Matthew Henry’s commentary explains, “The friendships of the world are often confederate friendships, founded in sin and carried on in the interests of sin; but where virtue is the bond of unity, it ties so close that it can never be broken.”
True biblical friendship is steadfast through both good and bad times. This loyal quality reflects God’s steadfast love and sets a high standard for human relationships.
Current research in positive psychology affirms the mental health benefits of supportive friend groups. For example, a meta-analysis in the Journal of Personality found that people with stronger social relationships tend to be happier and even live longer.
Likewise, the book of Proverbs promotes community and warns against isolation from friends or associates (18:1). Overall, Proverbs 17:17 celebrates friendship as an essential blessing from God that brings joy and support amid life’s changes.
Proverbs 18:24 – A man of many companions may come to ruin
In contrast to the previous proverb, this one issues a warning about having too many superficial friendships. As theologian Derek Kidner explains, this verse is saying that a person with many casual acquaintances “will not enjoy any closer friendship.”
Spreading oneself too thin among relationships means sacrificing depth and intimacy that come from authentic Christian fellowship.
Modern psychology uses the term “social overloading” to describe this same phenomenon of having too many shallow relationships. Studies show that with limited time and social energy, prioritizing a few deeper and more meaningful bonds is key for mental health.
Likewise, the Bible distinguishes between brothers/sisters “in Christ” whose godly influence sanctifies our walk (1 Corinthians 15:33) versus casual worldly associations which can corrupt good morals (1 Corinthians 15:33).
New Testament Guidance on Relationships
Romans 12:18 – Live at peace with everyone
In his letter to the Romans, Paul encourages believers to “live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18). This verse highlights the importance of maintaining positive relationships and avoiding unnecessary conflicts.
According to Paul, Christians should make every effort to promote harmony and reconciliation in their relationships.
Living at peace requires us to let go of bitterness, anger, and resentment. Even when disagreements happen, we must choose forgiveness and grace. As the saying goes, “We can disagree without being disagreeable.”
Maintaining peaceful relationships demonstrates the transforming power of God’s love in our lives.
Paul understood that division and strife destroy community. Unity and peace, however, enable relationships and communities to thrive. Therefore, he challenges Christ-followers to take the initiative in restoring broken relationships.
Where possible, Christians ought to live at peace with friends, family, co-workers, fellow believers, and even enemies.
Ephesians 4:32 – Be kind and compassionate
Paul’s letter to the Ephesians also covers relationship advice for Christians. Specifically, Ephesians 4:32 states, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
According to this passage, kindness and compassion should mark our treatment of others.
Showing kindness often requires going out of our way to meet someone’s need. It may involve displaying patience and grace when confronting annoying behavior. Additionally, offering compassion compels us to consider circumstances from another person’s perspective.
Compassion moves us to empathize rather than criticize.
Paul also stresses the importance of forgiveness. Harboring bitterness often poisons relationships. However, forgiveness sets us free from resentment’s grip. It also models Christ’s gracious forgiveness toward us. As recipients of God’s mercy, we must extend mercy to others.
When Is It Acceptable to End a Friendship?
If the friend is dangerous or abusive
The Bible encourages believers to avoid friendships with those who could lead them into sin or danger. As Proverbs 13:20 states, “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.”
If a friend consistently pressures you towards unwise or sinful choices, it may be necessary to create some distance from the relationship. Jesus spent time with sinners, but did not partake in their sin. A truly dangerous or abusive friendship warrants ending for self-protection.
When repeated efforts at reconciliation have failed
Matthew 18 outlines Jesus’ guidelines for addressing conflict and wrongdoing between believers. If repeated private and small group efforts to voice concerns, listen, forgive, and reconcile differences fail, Jesus permitted treating someone as “a pagan or tax collector” (v. 17).
Though this should not be done lightly or quickly, terminating a friendship may eventually become the healthiest choice if the relationship remains destructive despite earnest attempts at restoration from one or both parties.
Conclusion
The Bible offers wisdom and guidance on navigating the complexities of human relationships. While cutting off a friend should not be done lightly, scripture indicates there are some justified situations where creating distance may be necessary or wise for self-protection or after extensive efforts at reconciliation.
However, the overriding principles from God’s word are to pursue peace, grant forgiveness, and treat others with compassion.
