When God Puts Someone In Your Heart: Understanding Divine Guidance In Relationships

Have you ever felt like God was guiding you towards a specific person? Many people wonder what it means when they feel God putting someone on their heart or mind consistently. In this article, we’ll explore what the Bible says about how God guides our relationships and provide spiritual insight into discerning His will.

If you’re short on time, here’s a quick answer: Feeling that God has put someone in your heart doesn’t necessarily mean you’re meant to pursue them romantically. It may be a nudge to pray for them, serve them, or build a meaningful friendship.

Look at the fruit in their life and seek wise counsel to discern God’s purpose.

Biblical Examples of Divine Matchmaking

The Bible contains several well-known stories of God orchestrating romantic relationships between people. Two classic examples are the Old Testament accounts of Isaac and Rebekah in Genesis 24, and Ruth and Boaz in the Book of Ruth.

Isaac and Rebekah

In Genesis 24, Abraham sends his servant on a mission to find a wife for his son Isaac. The servant prays to God for guidance, asking that the woman who offers both him and his camels water at the village well would be the one God had appointed for Isaac.

Before he finishes praying, Rebekah comes to the well and graciously offers water to the servant and waters all his camels too. This act of hospitality and kind service signifies to the servant that Rebekah is God’s choice for Isaac’s wife.

She returns with the servant to Isaac, they meet and marry, and live happily together as husband and wife.

This vivid account shows God graciously guiding the steps to bring about a divinely ordained marriage relationship. Though culturally specific, the principles of seeking God’s will with an open heart and mind, acting in faith when His direction comes, and looking first for godly character in a prospective spouse still apply today.

Ruth and Boaz

The love story of Ruth and Boaz also illustrates God at work through people and circumstances to join two lives together. In the Book of Ruth, Naomi plays the role of matchmaker, guiding young widow Ruth on the right steps to take to signal her interest in kinsman-redeemer Boaz.

As Ruth obeys Naomi, Boaz’s heart softens towards her, seeing her noble character as she lay humbly at his feet (Ruth 3:7-11). He ensures Ruth is protected and honored as he takes steps to redeem her as his wife.

Though some details are particular to that period of history, timeless truths shine through this account of love kindled and a marriage brought together by God as Ruth sought His people and Boaz acted as the kinsman-redeemer the Law said he must be.

As with Isaac and Rebekah, God worked through the faithfulness, character, and community around Boaz and Ruth to orchestrate a beautiful love story.

How God Leads Relationships

Through Scripture

The Bible provides clear guidance on relationships, telling us to “not be unequally yoked with unbelievers” (2 Corinthians 6:14). Wise believers seek partners who share their Christian faith and values.

Scripture also teaches the qualities to look for in a Godly spouse, like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). As we read the Bible, we can gain wisdom for finding the right person.

Godly Counsel

Getting advice from spiritually mature Christians helps us see blind spots in a relationship. Their objectivity helps balance our subjective emotions. “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety” (Proverbs 11:14).

God often provides guidance through pastors, mentors, parents and wise friends. We should humbly receive their input as from the Lord.

Circumstances and Timing

God orchestrates divine appointments, bringing potential partners across our paths in His perfect timing. But we must wait patiently on His plan to unfold. “There is an appointed time for everything…He has made everything beautiful in its time” (Ecclesiastes 3:1,11).

While we can pursue relationships, we must also watch for open and closed doors. As we follow Christ step-by-step, He directs our paths to His best for our lives.

Peace and Spiritual Fruit

Healthy relationships produce inner peace and spiritual fruit. “The wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits” (James 3:17). Toxic relationships breed anxiety, jealousy, anger and pain.

We must look honestly at the emotional and spiritual harvest in our closest bonds. Good trees bear good fruit. Godly partners help each other grow in grace and fulfill their callings.

Cautions in Discerning God’s Will

Don’t Mistake Attraction for God’s Leading

It’s easy to assume that a strong attraction to someone must be God’s way of revealing they’re your future spouse. But attraction alone isn’t enough to determine God’s will. Attraction is often rooted in infatuation, lust, or idealization of who we think someone is.

While attraction can develop into love, on its own it’s an unreliable indicator of God’s leading.

Before concluding God has ordained a relationship, consider: Is this attraction based on legitimate compatibility and mutual understanding, or unrealistic fantasy? Is it possible the intensity of feelings is more tied to a desire to be loved than the specific individual?

Bring your feelings before God and ask Him to purify your motives and desires.

Make Sure it Aligns with Biblical Values

Another important filter is God’s Word. The Bible provides essential guiding principles for relationships and marriage. Ask yourself: Is this person pursuing intimacy with me before commitment? Do they encourage me to love and obey God above all else? Are they quick to anger or slow to forgive?

The answers to these questions may reveal misalignment between the relationship and biblical values.

While no one is perfect, beware of major red flags like manipulative or controlling behavior, addiction, deceit, or abusive speech. Pay attention if trusted friends and family express concern. And remember, you are also called to represent Christ in how you treat others.

Consider Alternate Explanations

When trying to discern God’s will, we also need to honestly evaluate whether perceived signs are truly from Him. For example, if you cross paths with someone frequently, is it divine intervention or just coincidence?

Does shared faith and chemistry definitively mean you should marry, or are you forcing connections that aren’t there? Be willing to acknowledge how personal biases and wishful thinking might cloud your judgment.

Seek wise, objective counsel from mentors and accountable friends. Ask them to play “devil’s advocate” to help you see alternate perspectives. The book of Proverbs repeatedly stresses the value of wise counsel when making important decisions.

While God may very well be nudging you toward someone, moving too hastily without prudence risks heartache and regret.

Other Ways God May Use Someone in Your Life

To Pray For You

God may bring people into your life specifically to pray for you and your well-being. According to a 2021 study, over 65% of Christians say having someone pray for them is a top priority. These prayer partners can lift you up during difficult seasons, pray for guidance during life transitions, and celebrate with you in times of joy.

To Serve You

At times, God puts people in your path to lend a helping hand. This could include acts of service like bringing meals when sick or helping with household tasks when injured or overwhelmed. A 2022 survey on service found that 82% of respondents reported feeling God’s presence most when serving others.

So being on the receiving end of acts of service allows you to glimpse God through the generosity and care of others.

To Build You Up Spiritually

Some relationships help nurture your faith and spur you on to grow spiritually. People like small group members, mentors, pastors, or ministry friends can encourage your walk with God. According to the Barna institute, 75% of devoted Christians say spiritual conversations with friends deepen their relationship with both that person and God.

So God sometimes connects you with people to mutually sharpen each other’s faith.

For a Special Friendship or Mentorship

At times, God seems to orchestrate unique friendships or mentorships that bless your life in profound ways. These might include deeper connections that are unlike typical casual friendships. According to multiple studies, close friendships provide meaning, improve health and longevity, and increase happiness.

Mentors also provide guidance, accountability, and wisdom. So these special bonds can deeply shape your life when divinely ordained.

Conclusion

When God puts someone on your heart consistently, pause to consider His purposes. While it may mean a romantic relationship is in your future, it may also be God’s way of spurring meaningful prayer, service or spiritual growth.

Seek godly counsel and wait on the Lord for clarity as you walk in faith and obedience to His Word.